I’m selling my shirts at http://beastmodaldomains.spreadshirt.com/

All of the shirts are 26 bucks a piece (long sleeve and hoodies cost more).  Multiple colors are available on the spreadshirt link, but below are the designs.  Clicking on an image redirects your ass to the spreadshirt shop. 


Men’s and Women’s “STFU and lift some shit”.  Are you sick of all this inspirational shit trying to infest your brain? I wish these bitches would just shut the fuck up and lift weights instead of spewing their menstrual nonsense everywhere.  For those who don’t need fucking inspiration.  Men’s design is available in multiple colors, American Apparel T shirts.  Women’s design available in Anvil Spaghetti Tank and American Apparel T shirts (mulitple colors).

Men’s and Women’s BMD Competition Team:  Team BMD logo on front, Deadlifting Bear on back.  Men’s version is American Apparel Vintage T, Womens in a V-neck.  All the Beastmodal Domains sponsored athletes will be wearing this at Regionals. By sponsored athletes, I mean dipshits who bought this shirt. Deadlifting Bear logo on the back.

Ladie’s “OvulateVictory”.  From the “Motivational Crap is Stupid” post.  Because as a lady, you get fucking annoyed with those “insprational broads”.  Dumb sloots.  Tell ’em to fuck off with a shirt that mocks them.  Back logo inspired by the same company I made fun of in the post.  American Apparel Slim Fit T.  Available in 13 colors.

Men’s “EjaculateVictory” shirt.  Why?  Because men always one-up those innies (at everything, duh).  American Apparel.

In response to me mocking Carey Kepler, Lean Lifting had this to say:

They’re right.  “Bad Person” shirts in women’s and men’s sizes.


The Beastmodal Domains logo:  a bear deadlifting your face off.  Because fuck yeah.  Order in any color, also available in Men’s 3x and 4x.  All previous issues with spreadshirt screwing up the design and color options have been fixed.  I have this shirt, and it looks bad ass.  See picture below the design mock up.  The shirt has actually leaped off my body and gotten chicks pregnant.  True story.


Deadlift Bear T-shirt for ladies.  A bunch of ovaries got together and decided to pressure me into giving them the bear logo on a shirt.  As a married fella, I learned a while ago to just do as they say or they will not shut the fuck up.  I’m not looking for trouble, ladies.  Here’s your shirt, American Apparel Slim Fit.

Deadlift Bear tank top for broads:  Same thing, but a spaghetti (paleo) tank top by Anvil.

Men’s Deadlifting Bear Zipper Hoodie – $45.  HTFU on the front, Deadlifting Bear on back.  Order in any color, all previous issues with spreadshirt screwing up the design and color options have been fixed.

Men’s HTFU American Apparel Zipper Hoodie – $45.  HTFU on the front, BEASTMODALDOMAINS.COM on the back.


Men’s HTFU (harden the fuck up) American Apparel long sleeve T – $28.  BEASTMODALDOMAINS.COM goes down the left sleeve.  So if you get pulled over while wearing it, the cop will know you are a Grade-A Hard Cock.  You’ll still get a ticket, though.

Fuck Yeah.  Social Media or whatever.  Don’t act like you don’t have a Facebook account, tough guy.  This shirt is because I feel a little gay whenever I click that mincy little “like” button.  American Apparel Vintage T.

Harden The Fuck Up.  Our society is filled with weak-ass bitches spewing filth from their whiny cockholsters.  I’m sick of it.  Let ’em know how you feel.  American Apparel Tri-blend Vintage T-shirt.

CrossFit HQ stopped selling our INFIDEL shirts in exchange for “Reebok-does-an-impression-of-Lululemon” crap?  No thank you.  But I got you covered.  A favorite among our troops who bust their asses disposing of international garbage.

Another version of the INFIDEL shirt, using an “Allah hu akbar” looking font.  Fucking mujahideen.  It looks cool and you don’t even have to pray 5 times a day.


The very popular testosterone diagram from Get Skronger Den a Muh: Volume II (Hormones).  It’s accurate science straight from my brain.  The pic of the shirt can’t show all the detail, but the real shirt is locked on.  What are the benefits of testosterone?  Learn: 

For the ladies: A bit more feminine, but still letting them know you’re ’bout to flip that switch.

Destrominate, honey.  It’s what you do before you beat the brakes off that lift or metcon.

Harden The Fuck Up (HTFU).  You give ’em the subtle hint by going all acronym on their asses (cuz you’re a classy broad).  Still gets the point across, though.

Infidel Tank Top.  By request, I made an INFIDEL shirt for the ladies.  Maybe your sweet ass went downrange or maybe you’re supporting your boyfriend/husband/son/brother/whatever.  Either way, fuck terrorists.  If you’re not digging that color, there are other colors available.

Harden The Fuck Up (HTFU) American Apparel Long Sleeve Hooded T-shirt.  Same as above, but more cloth (duh).  Also, it costs more – $29. 

I didn’t expect this one to actually sell, but it appears Aussies love this one.  That might be because they’re manlier than the rest of the world.  Except for one dude in America who has bought this one.  Buy it and be “that guy”. 


I’ll have more designs coming soon.  If you have any specific requests of a design based upon something stupid I have said on the site that you would like to wear, email me at beastmodaldomains@gmail.com.  I’ll make the magic happen for you.  I might even make some of the retarded designs from my post: CrossFit Shirts No One Will Ever Wear.

  1. #1 by Chris Hall on October 15, 2011 - 1:59 AM

    Well dude, I have to say you nailed it on everything from your blog to the T-shirts. Keep it up because people need to get the cum slapped out of their mouth and get back to being bearded conquerors. Take it easy


  2. #2 by Stone on October 20, 2011 - 10:35 AM

    T-Shirt I would buy:

    intensebeastmodefuckfests yield championships.

  3. #3 by Stonie on November 1, 2011 - 10:41 AM

    Can you make dude hoodies/Tshirt that have the HTFU on them or a hoodie with the bear. While I love the vulgarity I can’t wear that shit to all daily functions.

  4. #4 by EPIC on November 1, 2011 - 3:04 PM

    Stonie – job’s done. Check it. I went hoodie with bear and HTFU. Fuck shit up, na mean?

  5. #5 by Stonie on November 1, 2011 - 10:38 PM

    Nice, you read my fuckin mind! What next…..Our ladies start cycling at the same time?


  6. #6 by James on November 4, 2011 - 4:37 PM

    The tshirts that aren’t black, does the deadlift bear have a full black panel around him like on the preview? Or is it just the deadlift bear without a color surround (black) on the shirt? I want to sport deadlift bear while doing awesome shit. Things like juggling babies, or doing cock pushups on your mom. But I don’t want a big rectangular image panel on my chest.

    • #7 by EPIC on November 7, 2011 - 1:33 PM

      From what I’ve heard the black boxes have been showing up on non-black shirts. I wouldn’t recommend ordering anything other than black for the deadlifting bear.

  7. #8 by John on December 1, 2011 - 9:47 PM

    Great shirts. Love the testosterone one. I would add a few things but good job.

    • #9 by EPIC on December 2, 2011 - 9:34 AM

      Welbourn – you finally comment on Beastmodal Domains and it’s on the T-shirt page? Where were you when I was mocking SDHP’s and kipping pullups?

      • #10 by john on December 14, 2011 - 3:32 AM

        i am late to the party. send me an email and I will put together a CFFB & TTMJ banner for your site.

        and welbourn is spelled with one l.


  8. #11 by dTRON on January 11, 2012 - 12:24 PM

    Shirts are fixed

  9. #12 by Jess on January 21, 2012 - 2:58 AM

    I’d love to see: black/grey long sleeve ladies hooded tee with the bear plus a less girly font, i.e. like the guys bear zipper hoodie. That purple font is so stereotyped… What do you think I am, a lady? I’m borderline crossfit lesbian.

  10. #13 by Donna Gallardo on February 1, 2012 - 9:58 PM

    what about sleeveless shirts with the bear in the front? I want to bust out my guns when I wear that shit around…ya mean’?

    Loving all the designs though…


  11. #14 by top 10 muscle building supplements on February 7, 2012 - 8:12 PM

    muscle building workout plans
    There is evidently a bundle to identify about this. I believe you made various nice points in features also.

  12. #15 by Al on February 23, 2012 - 10:41 AM

    “Babies need to HTFU!”

    Because they do and everyone should know it via a t-shirt.

  13. #16 by gi_jamie on February 27, 2012 - 2:29 PM

    Can you make a shirt that looks like you have a baby strapped to your chest?

    • #17 by gi_jamie on February 27, 2012 - 2:30 PM

      a photo-realistic baby, that is.

  14. #18 by thedogus on March 3, 2012 - 12:24 AM

    oh god – i want to buy them all – i wont tho cause my crossfit dues are enough to make me cry every month. keep up the good work, i would probably consider offering my womb to have your baby but my husband would get pissed and we already have one gremlin running around here forcing my hand to drink everyday.

  15. #19 by Franimal on April 12, 2012 - 5:31 AM

    That deadlifting bear is fkn bad ass man. Can you do “STFU and lift some shit” on the front and a big (like bigger than you have done on the other tees) deadlifting bear on the back of a ladies tee?

  16. #21 by Drake on April 30, 2012 - 5:42 AM

    So, since the visit of the Outlaw Way to the UK, you have UK fans. These are spiffing t-shirts. But they’re not in the UK (or European) spreadshirt sites. I don’t want to pay more for postage than for the shirt. It’s what the internet’s for–would it cost you anything to make them available in the UK? Would mean I could buy many. And tell people I know (if not my friends) to buy many too.

    And tell Rudy to do the same…(yeah, I know he’s busy at the moment)

    I have the baddest tattoo of a dead bear. You should see it. But it’s on my back, and my arms aren’t long enough. It’s not deadlifting though. Probably why it died.

    • #22 by Drake on May 2, 2012 - 1:45 AM

      Yeah, so I bought it from the States. I’m a retard. Request stands though

  17. #23 by Coco Crisp on May 1, 2012 - 8:35 PM

    Been doing Crossfit style training going on 5 years and my box owner told me about your site. Freaking love it! I’m so annoyed with not only CF HQ but these indignent soccer moms who talk about nothing buy this WOD or that WOD..Give me a break. Tell Castro and Bozman to get a haircut while there at it. If CF wants to be a real sport they’ll have the same events year after year instead of these two morons telling us like 3 days before the event

  18. #24 by tomatokilla on July 8, 2012 - 12:43 PM

    I have a confession, I think I’m a bad person

  19. #25 by Susanne M. Seiler on March 19, 2014 - 10:06 AM

    The pink shirt that says “ovulatevictory” got me and I like it so much. Can you do that design in a tank top? probably the logo at the back of the pink shirt can be moved to the lower part of the back tank top. Overall your designs is rockin’ great!

  20. #26 by create a tshirt on June 30, 2015 - 1:47 AM

    Useful information. Fortunate me I discovered your site by chance, and I’m surprised why this twist of fate didn’t took place in advance!
    I bookmarked it.

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