Archive for category Nutrition

My Take On Nutrition: Paleo Brownies Are Dumb.

I’m neither Paleo nor Zone.  However, I avoid grains and similar nasty shit and I do pay attention to portions.  I’ve read Cordain and Wolf and applied it.  But I don’t feel the need to say, “I’m Paleo”.  That’s ridiculous.  I’m not Paleo because it’s not fucking 10,000 years ago.  A friend of mine who is new to CrossFit is impressed with the program, but impervious to the kool-aid.  He calls Paleo “weight-watchers for men”.  It’s a noob’s observation that is pretty funny because let’s be honest: stressing over what you eat is for girls.  I don’t stress over what I eat.  I just eat clean.

Facebook status update: So totally bummed I ate that whole tub of cake icing. UGH! 😦

While I’m on the subject, Paleo dessert recipes are fucking stupid.  I don’t care if it’s Duncan Hines brownies or Robb Wolf brownies.  They’re still brownies.  If you want a snackycake, eat a real one.  I generally don’t eat that shit because I don’t want a set of floppy bologna tits.  Either way, does your body need this?  Cavemen did NOT swap Paleo brownie recipes because they were too busy fucking shit up, cock-punching mastodons and saving money on their car insurance.  Fact.

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Omega-3 Fish Oil – Does This Crap Actually Do Anything?

What’s the best supplement?  Proper nutrition.  If you really dial it in, you don’t need any supplements.  Paleo folk want to get it right, but grass-fed beasts are fucking expensive.  I prefer to spend my disposable income on proven investments like scratch-off lottery tickets.  Before someone posts to comments about frugal ways to purchase grass-fed/wild-caught: I’m well versed in the concepts of cow-pooling and buying a separate freezer for my garage.  I make a respectable salary and as my Sperry Topsiders would indicate- I have a mortgage and own both of my vehicles.

Tell the world you enjoy the music of Vampire Weekend and think lacrosse is cool.

Times are tough and this post is for folks who want to follow the rules of good nutrition and avoid the Paleo-induced ‘Catholic-guilt’ by missing the mark because they can’t afford to pay $10 per lb for Polyface ground beef.  Specifically, I’m referring to the superior Omega-3 content of grass-fed meat and wild-caught fish as compared to grain-munching feedlot cattle and aquaculture fish.  Look, folks-  there is a bypass to getting your Omega 3’s without spending all your hard earned moneydollars on snob meat.

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