Anger & Fuck Yeah

I walk around angry.  Most of the time.  It’s because of the fuckheads that ooze weakness all around me.  More importantly, I’m irate because anger is the shit.  It’s one of only two emotions I have.  The other emotion: fuck yeah.  Sometimes I’m not angry and I’m like, “fuck yeah”.  When I’m angry, I’m also like, “fuck yeah”.  Anger, for me, gets directed into focused and driven work.  Destromination ensues.

Chuck Bednarik: A physical representation of both "anger" and "fuck yeah".

Chuck motherfucking Bednarik of the Phildelphia Eagles.  The guy who, in 1960, hospitalized Frank Gifford and made certain the New York Giants would be one less nancie wide receiver for over a year.  Maybe you don’t give a fuck about an NFL history lesson.  You don’t need to.  Look at the guy’s hand (below) and see what kind of tough son of a bitch he is.  Carry that attitude in your training.  Anger and fuck yeah.  If you approach the barbell like Bednarik approached the game of football, gravity will be scared of you.

Ear plugs are needed when he pops his knuckles

But I don’t feel like talking about training this week.  Tomorrow, “anger” temporarily takes a back seat to “fuck yeah” for me.  It’s the only holiday worth a damn in the calender year.  For those of my readers outside of the United States, lemme give you a lesson about the greatest and most beard-growing/pee-standing-up holiday in the world: 

Don't touch me, Gay Sweater.

Thanksgiving is where men play tackle football, then get fucking wasted while watching National Football League games on television.  Meanwhile, in a nearby kitchen, women cook food.  “No, toots.  I’m fucking not putting my plate in the sink when I’m done.  The game is on, and that plate will sit there ’til I get hungry again.  You look lovely, by the way.”

What a scam.  Clink your glass of whiskey to a fellow bro tomorrow as you destrominate meat from a pathetic loser of a bird and watch games all… damned… day.  Ladies – don’t get pissed.  You get your revenge in what historians have deemed “the exact opposite of Thanksgiving”.  It comes in the middle February and I have deemed it “the exact opposite of money well spent”.

 

Before I close and mentally prepare buy a bottle of Jameson for the manliest holiday, let’s get back to anger.  A bit of light reading for your weekend: http://joshsgarage.typepad.com/Crossfit_White_Papers_–_Timeline.html  It doesn’t make me ‘angry’ or ‘fuck yeah’.  But I know some of my readers will have some interesting things to say about it.  Also because I get a chuckle out of watching my comment section turn into a Down Syndrome convention each week.

Thanks to Link Wilfley of CrossFit Broadway for contributing to this post.

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  1. #1 by derek on November 23, 2011 - 10:11 AM

    AMERICA…FUCK YA!

  2. #2 by Anthony bider on November 23, 2011 - 10:56 AM

    If you don’t have a good showing for the game I’m gonna be pissed. I’m standing up a perfectly sculpted cougar and a pussy 10k in order to bulldoze weak defenders in my path. What’s the old adage? Bros before hoes, right? I’ll be bringing the anger tomorrow.. BUHLEEDAT.

    Back to the article.. I’ve posted all my best times when I step up to the bar and get pissed. I get funny looks from the people Round me.. Probably because I look like a retard hoppin’ around my barbell but I don’t give a Fuck cause it works.
    .

  3. #3 by Johnny Utah on November 23, 2011 - 11:11 AM

    The White Papers appeared on the Couch Thread on IGX many moons ago….epic LOL.

    Some will laugh and some with get all pissy, I look forward to the pantie bunching that is imminent.

    • #4 by EPIC on November 23, 2011 - 11:31 AM

      Yep. That’s where I got em. As far as ‘many moons ago’ its only a couple months old. Its not as if I’m trying to scoop new shit here. Fuck sake, how old is my Bednarik reference? If it’s worth mentioning, who cares how old it is? It’s come to my attention recently how in the dark most CrossFitters are about HQ. Knowledge is power.

      • #5 by Johnny Utah on November 23, 2011 - 3:02 PM

        Haha July is “many moons” in this day and age….

        Also, love the Bednarik pic…..Gifford was out for two years, and was never the same…..

  4. #6 by bk on November 23, 2011 - 11:20 AM

    that video was awesome; “this fucking game is over!”

  5. #7 by Timmy F on November 23, 2011 - 11:35 AM

    Best part of the White Papers? Show me where it impugns Wellbourne and CFF. Fuck yeah.

    • #8 by EPIC on November 23, 2011 - 11:52 AM

      FUCK YEAH. CFFB IS UN-IMPUGNABLE (duh).

  6. #9 by Jack Mayhhoffer on November 23, 2011 - 12:31 PM

    Here is healthy dose of FUCK YEAH featuring the renowned Crossfit Director of Fitness, Mr. Dave Castro: http://youtu.be/Ne5FGRvP5Is?t=4m46s

    • #10 by Johnny Utah on November 23, 2011 - 3:04 PM

      Drywall has an excellent mashup of this….

  7. #11 by Steve on November 23, 2011 - 4:36 PM

    I think as CF grows HQ becomes less relevant to the average CrossFitter. Hell most people in my gym never heard about the Robb Wolf/Castro thing and and could care less. As long as I do my job as an owner and trainer than CrossFit is good and they don’t care what happens at HQ. From my perspective as an owner I don’t care either. Being on CF.com as an affiliate is the best marketing I have and I am grandfathered at a dirt cheap rate. I program and run how I want with no interference, its perfect. I rarely even look at mainsite anymore. Plus if I had Glassmans money and lack of need to do anything anymore, this is s a self feeding beast at this point, there would be no doubt if I was drunk. I’d just be hammered at the presentations and wrinkled khakis you fuckers would be lucky if I was even wearing pants…

    Take it back to when it was an exercise program that worked without all the fucking paleo/lifestyle/clothing line bullshit. FUCK YEAH!

    PS- Except Reebok, keep pumping cash into ads that shit is making me money…

    • #12 by Johnny Utah on November 23, 2011 - 4:46 PM

      An honest box owner…respect to you sir.

      A good friend of mine owns an affiliate as well…..he echoes exactly what you said here.

    • #13 by EPIC on November 23, 2011 - 6:04 PM

      Yep. This is my “Fuck Yeah” comment of the day. Perfect. He hasn’t named his box. But if I knew it, I’d recommend it as “Beastmodal Domains approved”.

      • #14 by Steve on November 23, 2011 - 6:47 PM

        Yeah dude we are BeastMode and Drywall approved!! We’ve e-mailed, I am the guy up in Va who has linked out to you and Drywall many a times!

        Keep up the good work calling out the bullshit! Name witheld but your Ravens beat my Jets earlier and we both think Drywall is a fag frontrunner being a Steelers fan from Chicago

    • #15 by Matty on November 23, 2011 - 8:14 PM

      Well said, Steve. I’m one of your “average crossfitters” and sure I know about some of the shenanigans at HQ, am wary of SDHPs, kipping and high-rep Oly lifts for time, and sure I’ve made that pic of Glassman at the whiteboard (with the baby on his chest) my PC wallpaper for laughs. But as long as my coach continues to demonstrate that he has a brain in his head and I continue to get fitter without getting bits broken, for the most part I don’t much give a shit about all that other crap. Having said that, it does make me less inclined to be all evangelical about crossfit, which I’m sure is a welcome relief for my friends.

  8. #16 by Dr. Barry Hungwell on November 23, 2011 - 6:00 PM

    Thanksgiving is a day for punchin’ holes in protein. Football can be DVR’d. I’m gonna go kill shit then eat it.

  9. #17 by Matty on November 23, 2011 - 8:41 PM

    Seriously, Epic, I love some of your more instructional/ informative posts. But I’m putting some effort into assuming a lot of this post’s content is satire. Help me out here…

    • #18 by EPIC on November 23, 2011 - 8:52 PM

      Satire, what? You mean you got no training advice from the Thanksgiving bit?

    • #19 by Timmy F on November 26, 2011 - 11:33 AM

      Nah, man. Each week the comments section is literally written by a group of retarded people at the Global Down Syndrome Convention, or GDSC. It took a lot of work to get their grammar, composition, and typing skills to where they are today. Epic does a lot of volunteer work for GDSC, but he’s too modest to talk about it here. Somebody like me has to point it out for him. You’re an inspiration, Epic.

  10. #20 by holden on November 25, 2011 - 1:30 PM

    I’m here for the Down Syndrome Convention?

  11. #23 by delaforce on November 28, 2011 - 11:49 AM

    I’ll get a little cliche here for a second and give you the “anger is a gift” statement that I’ve held on to, or tried to use to justify my explosive temper for the better part of 28 years. I’ll follow up with “I know exactly what your saying, how can we take this relationship to the next level.” I appreciate someone else who utilizes anger as a motivator instead of calling it a crutch.

    P.S. Welcome to Outlaw programming.

    “Hold on to the hate that helps you stay focused.”

    • #24 by EPIC on November 28, 2011 - 7:09 PM

      In Omnia Paratus

  12. #25 by Wesley on November 28, 2011 - 6:31 PM

    Is that the masturbating bear from Conan? If so, makes sense the gay sweater dude looks so happy. No need for turkey gravy, I think he has some odd expectations.

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