Get Skronger Den a Muh: Volume I (Pick a Strength Program)

I love science because it has told my brain that deadlifts help you grow a beard.  True story.  That movement is the manliest, no?  All who don’t do it on the regular should feel guilty.  It’s definitely a t-shirt lift.  Why does no one put med-ball cleans on t-shirts?  Because they are embarrassing.  Functional?  Absolutely.  But no one has ever changed their Facebook profile pic to a medball clean shot because everygoddamnedthing else is cooler.

Damn, shawty! What’s that, 12 pounds? Boring.

The concept of getting stronger in the CrossFit community has seen many changes in recent years.  The CrossFit Strength Bias is SO 2009.  A sturdy strength program, though.  Wendler 531?  2010, girlfriend.  Extremely effective for barbell stuff, but I guess people got tired of math.  It’s fashionable these days to do some sort of oly strength program.  Probably the most fun, even though you will never be Pyrros Dimas.  What kind of loads on oly’s do we use in metcons?  That’s what I thought.  

When you dropped $200 on your Nike Romaleos, you were aware you’ll never do this, right?

I can tell you I’ve used all of them and have achieved success with each.  Despite the ebb and flow of strength and power programming fads in our community, all of the above are effective.  Most of us want to do it all, just don’t overtrain.  Recently, I settled back into CrossFit Football‘s strength programming because I want John Wellbourn’s big ass to forge me into a powerful athlete.   Either way, if you’re looking to get stronger, get with a program.

Do you need an additional strength program to supplement your CrossFit programming?  Some say no.  It depends on what you want.  Did I just say you don’t need heavy deads in your life?  Perhaps the guy from the Planet Fitness commercial would lift me up and put me down (violently) for the suggestion.  I know you’ve been CrossFit-brainwashed to think bodybuilding is lame.  The bronzing, oiling and banana hammocks make it hard for me to argue against that.  But I need to give credit to Ronnie Coleman for inspiring me to be annoying in the gym.  Bear with me on this.  The 3:00 mark is my favorite.  “800 solid-ass-pounds”. 

Why have I linked this crap?  I think it’s hilarious.  The next time you’re about to lift something (no matter how small), announce it’s weight to everyone.  “One and a half solid-ass-poods!” 

You should probably be doing a separate strength program if your box is not specifically programming strength stuff every day.  A good example of an affiliate that incorporates strength/power and metcons (most days) is CrossFit Ktown in Knoxville, TN.  Grant Scalf and Caleb Boaz have cracked the code on balanced and effective programming for their clients and theirs is a model many boxes should follow.

Bumpers make everything look heavier

If you want to be stronger, lift heavy shit.  I separate my strength work from my metcon by several hours because I am a gym rat and my schedule permits, Strength in the morning, metcon in the afternoon.  I know time may be a factor, but success depends upon your commitment to progression.  Regardless, lifting heavy things and using bad language are two of my favorite things.

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  1. #1 by Little Sean on July 18, 2011 - 8:14 PM

    I love me some CF Football programming. Designed by and for big violent people, which i one day would like to be.

    I will skip the usual Mark Rippetoe quote and stick with this. Will it be easier to pick up your child/bag of mulch/grocery bag/that twinkie you dropped on the floor if you could deadlift 150lbs or 300lbs?

    I challlenge anyone to name a useful act in life that is made made easier by being weaker…thought so.

    • #2 by EPIC on July 18, 2011 - 9:46 PM

      Shitting yourself. Which I’ve heard is useful as a legit anti-rape technique. You know, if you find yourself in the clink.

      • #3 by EPIC on July 18, 2011 - 9:51 PM

        Nevermind, there are muscles involved in shtting, unless you’re dealing with salmonella. 1-0 Sean.

  2. #4 by El Tiburon on July 18, 2011 - 10:02 PM

    Awesome article. It is extremely hard for wodaholics like us to stay away the barbells and the heavy lifting. Sometimes I think it is the manbeast inside that needs to feeds its ego to keep going. SELF CONTROL, PATIENCE and DISCIPLINE PRACTICE make the best recipe to get stronger. I use my support team (CTO coaches and athletes) to keep me honest on my workouts. I only release the beast when the world calls for it.

  3. #5 by Leeroy on July 19, 2011 - 9:41 AM

    There might be more room to add onto this post with regards to the hormones or types of hormones that a strength bias workout will induce.

    Crossfit in itself is more or less a physicall fitness induced hormone therapy program with the advantage of group fitness to either make friends or bang some hot chick in the class… both of which could use more hormones for more pleasure.

    Lifting heavy in the context of lower rep schemes in short will induce more testosterone secretion. Hormones unfortunatly have gained a negative connotation becuase of there supranatural use within the athletic and body building crowd. However, they are almost solely responsible for our bodies performance and homeostatic well being. Testosterone benfiits are many: bone density, red blood cell count & hair on chest to name a few.

    When Epic rights a post about connective tissue healing and lipolysis – then we can talk about the benefits of Growth Hormone and how to induce more through reaching oxygen thresholds.

    • #6 by EPIC on July 19, 2011 - 9:54 AM

      Horomones are clutch, Lee. I think you just spawned my focus on Volume II for this strength series.

  4. #7 by Pat on July 19, 2011 - 6:40 PM

    Loving the articles bro and i cant get through a day with out thinking about the next strength day. But i noticed you heavy squatting to a med ball….gay! Hit depth on your own, dude.

    • #8 by EPIC on July 20, 2011 - 9:15 PM

      Pat- its not there for depth. I’m so manly I shit 20# medballs. That’s what happens when you eat a steady diet of 1pood kettlebells.

  1. Get Skronger Den a Muh: Volume II (Hormones) « beastmodal domains
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